Got VC capital burning a hole in your trousers?
Give it to us. We’re not proud, we’ll take it off your hands. With a small influx of cash (say, $100 million, that’s a nice round number that’s easy to write on a cashier’s check), we could upgrade and improve this site tremendously.
First and foremost, that money would allow us to hire “qualified” people to do the work, thereby freeing us up to oversee the operation (in sort of a laize faire, or “hands off” capacity) from, I dunno, a chateau in Hawaii or Bermuda.
What’s left of your $100-million would be put toward advertising the site with a splashy SuperBowl TV commercial or two. The immediate resulting traffic spike that would undoubtedly crash our servers, rendering the site inaccessible to everyone.
Next, we’d send out a press release explaining what happened, ensuring a huge internet buzz, generating even more traffic and even longer blackouts of service.
By the time people figure out that they’ll never see the site, we’ll have had our IPO and you’ll have cashed out, burning millions of Mom ‘n Pop investors from coast to coast.
How’s that for a business model? Genius, right?