Dating tips - find your inner-asshole.
Having confidence with women is a Catch-22; you can’t get confidence without doing well with women, and you can’t do well with women if you aren’t confident. Real confidence is based on experience. Fake confidence is based on acting. Luckily, the results are virtually indistinguishable.
There are other ways to get confidence besides faking it. You can build it over many years, mastering a skill or talent until you surpass all others and receive accolades from an adoring public. But that’s hard fucking work.
It’s no wonder then, that so many guys fake confidence instead — it’s a helluva lot easier. That fact should make you wonder, What the hell’s stopping you?
Now, faking confidence isn’t easy for all guys. It comes naturally to some and awkwardly to others. If you have trouble, it’s simply because you’re not in touch with your inner-asshole.
We aren’t talking about losing touch with your inner-child (you’re probably already so in touch with him you it’s practically molestation).
No, we’re talking about the prick deep down inside every guy, the prick who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. THAT guy’s your key to the Assholedom.
Once you tap into his self-centered, egotistical, selfish bastardness, you’re on your way to appearing self-confident. Go ahead and try not giving a shit — how’s that feel? Pretty freeing, huh? Yeah, you bet it is.
Embrace your inner-asshole; hell, party with it. It’s your ticket out of Datelessness. (But don’t let it run the show. Untamed, your inner-asshole can quickly become an outer-asshole and fuck up everything.)
Speaking of partying, nothing brings your inner-asshole to the surface quite like your good friend, alcohol. Next time you’re drunk, try to remember how you act, because that’s how a confident asshole acts.
Alcohol strips away “caring about other people’s feelings” faster than vomit strips chrome off a bumper. And nothing legal gives you the same unfounded and exaggerated sense of self-worth required to be a full-on asshole.
Still, you have to use liquor judiciously. Booze is like an old friend — an old surly, unpredictable and dangerous friend who’s had more than one run-in with Johnny Law. Abuse it, and Mr. Hooch can become your worst enemy. So go easily on The Sauce — treat it like fire, respect it, or it will burn down your house while you sleep. Alcohol’s a fucking bastard like that.
Sure, acting like an asshole isn’t the same thing as being confident, but both look pretty much the same from the outside (and that’s the vantage point most women will have).
So don’t think being an asshole will hurt your chances with the ladies; it won’t. Why not? Because, behind the makeup and pushup bras, women are insecure just like guys.
Women are always looking for some guy to tell them they aren’t a worthless sack of shit. They just don’t want to hear that from another worthless sack of shit (namely, you). They want to hear it from a guy who’s The Shit. (Or at least one who acts as if he is.)
Assholes are attractive because women want to respect the guy they fuck. It’s validation for them. They think “This guy, who could obviously have ANY woman he wants, chose me! Therefore, I must have some value!” It’s sad, but you’ll think the same thing after you nail a super-model.
Essentially, pretty women want to fuck arrogant assholes, not insecure, nice guys. So how do assholes do it? Simple. They treat women they like no better than the ones they don’t.
Assholes don’t treat pretty women any different from ugly ones — which is to say, like shit. They don’t put either kind up on a pedestal (even to look up their skirts).
Assholes act indifferently, if not rudely, to women; especially hot women. Sounds counter-intuitive, right? Well, it is. And here’s why it works: When women see you as a challenge, there’s a satisfaction in winning you over; a sense of accomplishing something that was difficult.
Women see assholes as a challenge. (“He’s not being nice to me like the other guys. He must be more discriminating! He must think I’m not pretty enough! I must sleep with him to win him over!”) Nice guys who kiss their ass are just too easy.
Of course, women will go on dates with nice guys (after all, who doesn’t want a free meal?). But they sleep with assholes. Women dump sensitive guys. They marry heartless bastards. Clearly, the asshole route is the way to go.
That said, being a successful asshole means knowing how to talk to women when you finally bother to, or when it’s entirely unavoidable.
First, women don’t want to hear what you think they want to hear. For instance, when a woman asks if you think she’s pretty, most men — in an effort to suck up — would say, “Hells yeah, baby!” or some shit.
Unfortunately, that response puts you at a disadvantage. You’ve just told her that you like her and she now knows she can control the relationship. She also knows that you’ll continue to answer her questions positively making you less challenging and thus reducing your attractiveness (and subsequently, your chances of getting her into bed).
However, if you answer neutrally or negatively, you run the risk of pissing her off entirely. It seems like a no-win situation, right? Wrong.
Oddly enough, by speaking your mind and not trying to “give the teacher what she wants,” your unexpected candor and/or contrarian answers will actually make you look more interesting. She won’t immediately have the upper hand. She’ll be more inclined to continue talking to you as an equal, as a peer.
So say what you think. About anything and everything. She may not like it or agree with it, but she will respect you for sticking to your guns and having an opinion.
Agreeing with her — or any woman too much — buys you squat. Trying to please a woman is fucking pointless; not to mention, damn near impossible. And she won’t respect you for it anyway, so don’t even bother.
To intrigue a woman, YOU have to play hard-to-get, too. Do what you gotta do, the way you gotta do it. If you let a woman affect your actions or decisions, you’ll only regret it later when she dumps you for being spineless and obsequious (look it up).
You’d think that disregarding women would guarantee you’d never get laid, but, in reality, it’ll actually get you laid more. Why? Because the secret to getting chicks is to make them come to you. To paraphrase some witty person we’re too lazy to look up: “We pursue hardest that which tries hardest to get away.”
Like we said, you’re more attractive to a woman if you’re across the room ignoring her than you are in her lap trying to hump her leg. (Some girls may be flattered by your constant “attention,” but most will probably just spray you with mace.)
By focusing on your own shit, you show some spine, and avoid performing tricks and jumping through hoops like a neutered mutt.
However, ignoring a woman — by itself — won’t inspire girls to come over and blow you (if only). No, you need something to make her notice you, too.