Improve yourself and improve your odds.

Faking confidence is all well and good, but keeping up the act takes a lot of mental effort. So it might be less trouble in the long run to actually make positive changes in your real life.

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Looking Good:

Male Body Image in Modern America.

Ask yourself, Are you being all you can be and living up to your awesome human potential? Yeah, probably not.

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The Adonis Complex:

The Secret Crisis of Male Body Obsession.

Most guys have room for at least some improvement (some have room for complete rebuilds). But, despite what advertising tells you, “fixing” your imagined problems with pharmaceuticals or designer clothes will not suddenly make you totally, and finally, happy.

Losing 10 pounds won’t make women flock to you like pigeons to popcorn. A nose-job won’t have you beating women off with a 7-iron. And a penile enlargement won’t do anything except frighten small woodland creatures. Fortunately, your problems probably aren’t so horrific that they can’t be solved with less drastic procedures.

Big improvements can be made by simply shaving, getting a good hair style and buying some clothes manufactured in this decade. You’d be surprised how much of a difference trimming your nose-hairs can make when meeting women. Women notice small shit like that. People say women look at a man’s shoes first, but nose- and ear-hairs are a close second.

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The Male Body :

A New Look at Men in Public and in Private.

If you’ve watched television at all, then you know science has made great strides in cosmetic surgery lately. But before you go into hock paying a doctor to cram in silicon cheekbones, chins or pecs, consider a less radical way to save several thousand dollars: Try coming to terms with your own God-forsaken appearance. Learn to like it (or, at least, accept it for its flabby, hairy charm).

Sure, this approach won’t help you get a date for Saturday, but it’s something you’ll have to do eventually, and the sooner you get started on the project, the better.

Genuinely accepting your grotesque physique means rejecting the bullshit that Hollywood and the Media has “taught” you your entire life. And that’s not easy.

It takes awhile to get the poison out of your mind, but knowing how you’ve been manipulated is a good start. One day, you’ll make peace with the very same body you currently despise and will be pissed you wasted so much time stressing about what you look like, instead of stressing about the important stuff; what you act and smell like.

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Making Weight:

Healing Men’s Conflicts with Food, Weight, and Shape.

Another big mistake guys make is letting someone else decide what “acceptable” is. You have to decide that for yourself. You have to establish that “bar,” using your own criteria. You don’t want to be chasing someone else’s idea of acceptability. Because they can change that ideal anytime they want, for whatever reason, and you’ll have to keep chasing it. It’s a race you’ll never win.

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Muscle:

Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder.

The Media and Hollywood have ulterior motives for what they choose to idealize as “attractive.” They want to sell you a fantasy. The fantasy of perfection. A perfection that doesn’t, and can’t, exist.

Hollywood movies, media hype and corporate advertising are all designed to sell you shit: tickets, magazines, newspapers, commercials and/or products. So the people, ideas and things they choose to glorify are skewed towards that one purpose — making you feel less than perfect and/or deficient in some way without their product.

Don’t try to live up to their manufactured, unachievable physical ideal. Don’t jump through their hoops, especially when it comes to something women don’t really give a shit about.

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Take your weight, for instance. If you don’t look emaciated and heroin-addicted, you’re not alone. In fact, there’s so many other guys in the fat-ass boat, it’s in danger of sinking. Still, if you can’t see your own erect dick because your massive gut is the way, it’s time to do something about it.

While we’re not big believers in changing to fit into society’s current idea of attractive, we do believe that healthy guys are more attractive to women than lazy, fat, couch-denters hooked up to an iron lung. Besides just making you actually healthier, being in shape also makes you more confident. Go figure.

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Power Yoga

Total Body Workout with Rodney Yee.

Of course, getting healthy is more easily said than done. And the hardest part is starting. Since laziness breeds more laziness, the less you do, the less you feel like doing. Luckily, the opposite is also true. The more you get off your ass; the easier it is to keep getting off your ass. Before you know it, you’re standing up. And then walking. And soon, you’re outside (where all the women are).

Getting fit requires changing the habits that put you into your current predicament — namely, dateless and pre-diabetic. The critical thing is to stay active. There’s no trick to it; weight-control is simple physics. If you burn off more calories than you take in, you will lose weight. If you eat 500 calories but don’t burn 500 calories, it’s gonna go some place. (Any guesses where, lard-ass?)

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Wai Lana 137 Yoga Mat

It’s all you need to get healthy.

There are lots of ways you can burn calories. You could take up jogging, but you’ll might destroy your knees and wind up a cripple. You could join a gym, but then closet-case jocks will harass you in a vain attempt to suppress their own homosexual urges.

Who needs all that shit? A better choice is yoga.

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Yoga for Fitness and Wellness

Inspire students to stay healthy for the rest of their lives.

Yoga’s less likely to cause injury than most other forms of exercise (especially those with names that end with “o-matic”). In addition, let’s not forget that most yoga classes are predominantly attended by slim, hot and really bendy chicks.

As a guy at a yoga class, you’ll be rare and have almost no competition for those bendy chicks. That alone is reason enough to take up yoga.

Assuming you don’t want to be seen in yoga pants publicly, get an instructional DVD and do it in the privacy of your own home (not a bad idea considering all that bending can make you gassier than The Hindenburg.)

Yoga connects your mind and body in a way that makes your body fit, capable and probably flexible enough to suck your own cock. (Just don’t expect most women to be impressed by that manuever.)

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Regardless of which method of exercise you choose; you need to keep at it. To stay motivated, don’t consider “working out” a black and white issue where you’re either on the program or off it. You are going to have slip-ups, everyone does. But, bingeing on a whole bag of chips is not reason enough to admit defeat on the whole effort. All you need to do is take two steps forward for every one slip backward to make progress.

Eventually, you will get where you are going, which is more than you can say for people who never even start. When you inevitably slip, get back on the horse by not eating like one. Then start working out again as soon as you can. You’ll get there.

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Comments

you dont need to take up yoga classes to become fit… just start eating helthy food (just eat fast food once a week). dont eat all day. just the basic 4 meals a day and if possible, run 5 minutes everyday (in the morning, or at night). you’ll see if you keep that up you’ll get the body you want.

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