Best. Excuse. Ever. (For not having sex.)

For centuries, women have faked headaches and even their own deaths to get out of having sex. In fact, “wives avoiding sex” is so universal that it’s become a cliche in modern sitcoms. But now women have an even better excuse to turn a cold shoulder, and it could spell the end of marital sex as we (barely) know it.

Here’s a shocking story about an Australian woman who’s allergic to her husband’s sperm. Yeah, how much would that suck? After all, it’s hard enough to convince a woman to have sex after marriage without the threat of hives, soft tissue swelling, and potential death.

Apparently, this guy’s wife “suffers” from a condition known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity, or what’s more commonly known as a “Get out of fucking free” card. Of course, no one mentions that the husband will be suffering with an arguably worse condition: a lifetime of blowjob-free sex with condoms.

If other women start faking this disorder, married men will get even less sex than they currently do—if that’s even possible.

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