For centuries, women have faked headaches and even their own deaths to get out of having sex. In fact, “wives avoiding sex” is so universal that it’s become a cliche in modern sitcoms. But now women have an even better excuse to turn a cold shoulder, and it could spell the end of marital sex as we (barely) know it.
Here’s a shocking story about an Australian woman who’s allergic to her husband’s sperm. Yeah, how much would that suck? After all, it’s hard enough to convince a woman to have sex after marriage without the threat of hives, soft tissue swelling, and potential death.
Apparently, this guy’s wife “suffers” from a condition known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity, or what’s more commonly known as a “Get out of fucking free” card. Of course, no one mentions that the husband will be suffering with an arguably worse condition: a lifetime of blowjob-free sex with condoms.
If other women start faking this disorder, married men will get even less sex than they currently do—if that’s even possible.