Single and loving it? This new study says you’re full of crap.

Can humans live alone and really be happy? It sure seems so — just ask Clooney, DiCaprio, Diaz, or any other non-desperate successful person — lots of happy people never get married. But are they kidding themselves? Or do they just not know what being happy really is?

As a single person, you may think you’re happy, but science says otherwise. Well, okay, not science exactly — economics. It’s kinda like science, but with fewer facts and more assumptions. 

Recently, love doctors from the romantically named Vancouver School of Economics and the Canadian Department of Finance did a study and now talk like they’re secretly funded by Big Wedding and the Marriage Industrial Complex. 

The new paper…concluded that being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single.

And, while the researchers DID take into account “whether marriage causes happiness or happier people are more likely to get married,” they ignored the possibility that married people’s happiness is merely the result of their feeling of success at finding a mate — a huge and necessary life accomplishment according to Society. 

That is, the fact that married people view themselves as successful at life (and therefore feel happy) while singles think they are failures at life (and therefore feel unhappy). 

Ultimately, however, the report’s finding really suggests that people who have a “support system” — i.e. friends — can avoid many of the downfalls of single-hood. 

So, maybe start worrying less about not being married and worry more about being someone other people want to hang out with. (It might help you get married, too.)

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