Nerd who can’t get sex from real women, builds his own.

Years ago, I predicted that nerds would one day create robots you could screw who look like Scarlett Johansson after having a mild stroke. And that day is, apparently, today. Sure, you’ve probably heard about RealDoll®—the world’s finest love doll—which will soon have an animated, artificially intelligent head that can “arouse someone on an emotional, intellectual level, beyond the physical.” But there are now other options, too.

Ricky Ma, a “designer” from Hong Kong, just made a female robot that “moves, smiles, and winks” and, I presume, puts out like a soulless, inanimate mechanism with three holes and no free will or safe word. 

After only eighteen months (aka, the nerd’s typical “human touch” dry spell) and a mere $50,000 (aka, the nerd’s average signing bonus), Ricky Ma constructed the “Mark 1” on his patio with a 3-D printer and software he taught himself how to use with one hand.

Sure, this fembot only has a few pre-installed responses—probably “Oh, god, yes!” and “Harder! Harder!”—but her expressions are reportedly lifelike enough to make you believe you’re not a necrophiliac if you squint hard. 

However, Ricky Ma’s home-brewed coochie creation begs a ton of deep philosophical questions, such as “Is the soul a necessary component of love?” and “Is physical appearance a sufficient foundation for a true emotional bond?” 

But the deepest, most philosophical question is why the engineer didn’t make his sex doll look like Kim Kardashian? He would’ve made a shit-ton of bank selling a robot with dat ass.